


What Now?

by keeperofwords



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, US Women's Soccer National Team, krashlyn - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 13:37:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11715486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keeperofwords/pseuds/keeperofwords
Summary: This one-shot is Ali Krieger's perspective during the match against Japan during the Tournament of Nations and the time afterwards ending when she comes back home to Ashlyn in Orlando.   It deals with Ali's thoughts and feelings as I imagine and this is a true piece of fiction. A happy ending in this because that's what Ali deserves.Krashlyn forever!





	What Now?

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot came about as a way to vent my emotions after watching Ali Krieger sit on the bench all three games of the Tournament of Nations 2017. My emotions went all over the place. It was not only from that fact she got no playing minutes the whole tournament but also the barrage of negative comments from bloggers, fans, journalists and critics. The talking did not change anything Ali was still on the bench sitting on 98 caps. It sucks. Its not fair but it is what it is. Writing this helped me refocus on the positive. I thought possibly it may be something positive for fans of Ali who are readers on this site.

It had been expected. She had gone into this camp knowing full well that she was on the outside looking in. It had been an opportunity though. After not being called up to the last camp, Ali had felt a nervous excitement. Being called into the national women's team camp had been not been the opening of a door exactly. But as Ellis had told her when she called her with the invite, The door was not shut either. So as the fighter she was, she had squared her shoulders, gave the coaches and players the most determined of looks and focused on the task at hand. That task at hand had been to fight like hell to prove herself again to a coach who now judged her to be losing value to the team now and in the future. Â She was the victim of age discrimination. Â Time had become her enemy despite of her continued health and defender skills. Â Ali could not turn back the clock and take three years off of her life. Her chance at another World Cup wouldn't happen under Ellis.This camp, she had worked her ass of, ran down after forwards ten years her younger than herself. But for what? Did Ellis think that bringing her and then benching her would make her quit? Did Jill think she would just retire ? Jill Ellis truly did not know her anymore and maybe she never did. She was a footballer and did not quit.

Tonight had been especially hard with her friends and family right behind her. She could hear fans calling out for Ellis to play her. Ellis wouldn't even look her direction. She fought to keep hope she had a chance still to play tonight. If she played tonight, even five minutes she could get cap #99. She couldn't allow herself to look further ahead past # 99. Let the fans and critics speak of how Ellis won't let her get 100 caps and KO passing her. Let other people talk about this was her end and  she deserved better. Other people's opinions did not get her off the bench. So to get through the last forty-five, she counted substitutions into the match. The warm bodies sitting beside her got up one by one and entered the game. One by one, starters came and sat beside her. Still she sat. Actress, she was, she forced herself to smile her Krieger smile. She clapped for her teammates.  Inside though she felt like she was an hourglass with sand slowly shifting down to signal the end of her time on the National Team. When all the sand got to the bottom, it would be over. All of this, her nine year tenure, would be over, just over. There would be no ceremony in this tournament of friends and family by US Soccer of reaching 100 caps. It took everything she had inside herself to not let her eyes water as she counted substitutions.

Two, three, four, five and then six. Six, it was done. Done! The sand in the hourglass had fallen to the bottom of the glass.There was no celebrating with her teammates tonight. Instead it had been celebrating for her teammates. 

Was it over? Everything was dark and uncertain. She was Ali Krieger though so she would fight, not give up. She would walk through the darkness of her international career and follow the path. Chin up, bright smile in place she walked on the pitch to the stands for pictures and autographs for the fans.They told he that she was an inspiration to them. That went both ways. Their devotion had never faltered through nine years of highs and lows. She soaked up their positive energy. She blinked back tears and fought to show self-confidence when it felt like those around her had lost confidence in her. Last off the pitch, Ali looked over her shoulder one last time. Was this the last time taking off a national team uniform? Sentimental, she packed US team items away that she used to just throw aside to be washed and reused. If anybody noticed, they never said it. She just took her things out of her locker, closed it and walked to the bus questioning her future. Ellis's words that were so vague on her future but still so clear. Time had moved on with her sitting on cap 98.

Hugs were shared among teammates. With those that she had played the longest with Ali shared more than happiness of a win. She shared an empathy. The veterans understood that time was marching on. Each would face this one by one. So then she went through the motions of end of camp. She went through the routine of goodbyes, going to the airport and then boarding her plane. Home, she was going home.

Ashlyn, home.

Ashlyn, home.

Ashlyn, home.

She said it to herself over and over as she exchanged small talk with Alex Morgan. Alex was still riding high from scoring a goal to end a long international drought. When Alex drifted to sleep, she found herself counting the minutes once more. Now it was not as she was watching the waning minutes of a match she hoped to play in. This time it was the minutes before she would be reunited with Ash.

Minutes paired now with miles working in tandem to propel her to the beautiful lover. Her mind, body and soul completely being thirsting for Ashlyn Harris.. This thirst was even greater than any cap she could be awarded. Â Only her lover's skin while whispering words of love in her ear ease this sorrow and her fears of her football future.

In, out. . . breathe

In, out. . .breathe

Ashlyn

Ashlyn

It was late or it was early depending on your perspective. She had told Ashlyn not to meet her. Ash had lightheartedly joked to keep the bed warm for her. Door unlocked. Door opened. Door closed. She kicked her shoes as she sat her things down quietly so not to wake the keeper. She did not turn on the light. Darkness again. It was different than standing on the pitch after the end of ninety against Japan.

Ash had not closed the blinds so the moon shown down on her lover asleep like spotlight in their master bedroom. Â She could only stare at lover's beauty. Her eyes never left  Ashlyn as she stripped out of her travelling clothes till she was nude. Â She felt the weight of the past week fall on the bedroom floor with each layer she removed.

Now, now she allowed herself to let go.

She let the tears fall as she lifted the covers back and slipped into bed.

She could not scoot close enough to her lover. She felt relieved to notice that she was nude just like herself.

She sucked back a sob burying her face into Ashlyn's naked back. 

It was not fair. It was not fuckin fair and it hurt like hell. She had fought and fought to get on the team, coming back from injury, World Cup Gold Medal to this?. It had come down to this and to be cast away like a dirty uniform. Â She had been pushed aside. She had become hands off.

But then she wasn't.  Strong tattooed arms held her close with those large hands laced behind her back. Their curves slipped together in a perfect fit. She tucked the top of her head into the curve of Ashlyn's neck. Â No words were spoken. They were not needed. Ashlyn's heartbeat thumped into her ear. Seeking her lover's comfort, she rubbed her cheek against the pillow of Ashlyn's breast. Here she was loved, valued, cherished. She shared a love with Ashlyn that had was more lasting than the national team or soccer itself. She and Ash had weathered many a storm and adversity. They had persevered against criticism, disappointments and at times distance. Her tears wet her lover's breast as she sobbed the deepet of sobs. She was not sure how much time had passed. She lay limp against Ash's body feeling like she had gone not only a full ninety but if possible another ninety in stoppage time.

Ashlyn's  strong arms had held her tight through it all. Dear sweet Ashlyn who literally held her heart and cradled it gently and lovingly always. Ash now only lets one arm to wipe a stray tear slowly tracking down my face as she finishes her long overdue "good cry" .

Ash knows what is going on in my mind without her having to vocalizing it. We are soulmates and teammates remarked often they could finish each other's sentences.. Ash knew that I am afraid. I tell her I feel helpless and rejected. She reminds me I am her everything and the highest of value of anything and everything that is and will be. She tells me that she loves me and then proceeds to show me over and over again. I feel it. I am reminded it in the most passionate and physical of ways. She remind with whispers in my ear during each moment of afterglow as we make love over and over.. And resting now, I am not so afraid. I feel stronger, freer and ready to face whatever the future holds.

"Together," she tells me, "I can't wait to marry you. I can't wait to have babies with you and settle down here to live our life together in this house."

"Maybe it's time we got a dog," I remark back Her sharp intake of breath showed me that I had surprised her with that comment. I know the surprise is not my comment as much as what's the underlying message. I was ready to settle down. She holds me close and threads her long fingers through my long dark hair.I smile nuzzling my nose into her breast before kissing the nipple lovingly. Gods, I loved this woman with all that I was. There was a total certainty of that that. The future with Ashlyn shown bright flooding any darkness I felt earlier. There is so much to look forward to.  She and I will do this together. 

 


End file.
